New things have been happening in my life and I feel like my independence has shaped much of how I feel and think right now. I love to read blogs by different people and different things about life in general. Now that I am in a relationship, I have seen an increase in my interest of the things people have gone through in their personal lives. Now, after I came back from Guatemala I felt different. I started to appreciate the friends I had and the family members that really gave a shit about me. I can honestly say that I feel in love with my best friend without knowing it and I hated that. I was so against the raw feelings that came with a relationship and taking someone else’s feelings into consideration. It came gradually and I told myself, and people around us, that we would not fall into the cycle of the typical best friend turning into something else routine. I did not want to be judged and told “I told you so”. I was so hard-headed in my feelings that when I actually fell, it was pretty hard. I knew what I wanted at some point and he was and is IT.
When it was new I was still kind of freaking out. I did not want us to go to fast and was still scared of my feelings. Now I know that it is okay to feel that way. I am his girlfriend now and our relationship will be different. I do not regret anything that happened and I love him, a lot. When I talk to people about how we started our relationship as best friends, they tell me that that is the best way! You get to meet someone as they really are in a safe setting and if anything happens then good, if not then that is good too. Now, I am not saying that you should fall in love with your best friend or that you will. However, I feel that there needs to be an acceptance of feelings that are healthy and well meant for a person that deserves your love and vice versa. Relationships are hard and I have always hated opening my feelings and being vulnerable, but I feel that he is worth it and that I am worth his efforts. He has stuck by me when we were friends and hopefully it is the same now but in a different, new, good way.
I read this article today that explained that we should apply The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” to all of our relationships. This being said, I have friends who have really toxic relationships. While all relationships and people are different it is not good for people to reduce themselves emotionally, physically and mentally for the sake of something that seems like love and just because you might be into that person a lot. Not worth it. At all. Being careful with my feelings and the people I kept in my life has brought me this far. I have felt heart-break, pain and loss, but I think that it is worth losing something if it shapes your life positively and pushes you forward to make good decision. Be wise and if it is not a “Fuck Yes” then it is a NO: http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes. Hope you guys enjoyed this blog of mine, I will try to not slack anymore! 😀